28: Neptune: The (Real) World War

The most accurate World War would be a war of the sea, being that it makes up about 71% of the planet Earth. I’m not talking about NATO versus terrorists, or a New World Order uprising, but a real battle over the sea, the only true battle of the sea; mythological.

Mythology teaches two different Gods of the Sea; Roman mythology tells of Neptune, and Greek mythology tells of Poseidon. Red corner versus Blue corner. Tyrant versus Dictator. God versus God. This would be a battle over history as well as the sea; a winner take all kind of metaphorical cage match.

How do you judge a metaphorical battle of the sea? The referee would have to almost have a little god-blood themselves, metaphorically speaking of course. An individual who was historically unbiased and kept on a pedestal themselves. An individual who made the rules and set the standards. The only viable mediator for this kind of war or battle is Barbie (putting the ring girls to shame).

While the Christians hold protest signs in public parks, historians have been scrambling to find bookies to place their bets. This battle will likely make summer showers look like The Perfect Storm and The Day After Tomorrow.

Bookies are giving Poseidon 3-2 odds in the War of the Sea. Neptune has the whole planet named after him (even though it is a large ball of gas near the edge of the galaxy), but Poseidon represents the highly accredited Greek Mythology. Many feel Roman mythology is slightly relative because of their self-proclaimed status in history and religious books. Nonetheless, the odds are and bets are being made.

Barbie is going to let the boys be boys, while keeping the world from being destroyed from the gods “natural disasters”. The only risk with Barbie mediating the War of the Sea, is the possibility for jealousy by Athena, Greek Goddess of Reason and Virtue. Barbie has often been whispered to have a taste of goddess within her disposition. The real Second World War could be the War of Virtue (or arguably the first (known) Intergalactic War).


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