18: Sandwich: Barbie will Rule the Apocalypse

According to Mayan predictions, the world is going to end on December, 21st 2012 (give or take a day), and we are not prepared. Those who are prepared for the apocalypse we call “hoarders” and laugh at them behind closed doors. But even the hoarders will not be prepared for surviving the end of the world.

As every post-apocalyptic movie depicts, there will be the constant battles over gasoline and food. The food will become sparse and the gasoline will gradually run out. Money will be used to start fires, and mankind will return to our primitive, hunter/gatherer state, and return to bartering for goods.

It is at this point that he who hath yielded a surplus of Barbie’s shall retain prosperity (said in an Old English dialect for some reason). Nonetheless, after the apocalypse, I predict Barbie will be used a highly sought after source of currency, for those who survive (you better accept the Facebook invitation, it is floating around in cyber space- I’ll be there).

Barbie’s positive demeanor will serve to uplift the predictably dismal spirits of apocalyptic survivors, while also as a companion to fill the void left from a decrease in human contact (much like Wilson in the movie Cast Away). Barbie will also serve as a reminder of the innocence that used to once exist in the world, while remaining glamorous and tastefully provocative.

My prediction is Barbie dolls will eventually become “the item” the post-apocalyptic gangs search for. Historians will lock Barbie’s away, and Barbie collectors will rule The New World.

Note: This prediction is based solely on common sense and practicality.  

Image obtained from http://pinktentacle.com/2007/05/neo-ruins-lithographs-of-post-apocalyptic-tokyo/

sandwich > food >survival > apocalypse 


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