8: Earth: As if Global Warming is a Bad Thing…

Everyone talks about global warming like it is a bad thing. Planet Earth has been in a constant heating and cooling cycle since the formation of its crust about four million years ago. Furthermore, who really looks forward to winter? If the global climate increased in temperature, and winter could cease to exist, wouldn’t we all be a little happier? Not to mention, if the ice caps melted, sea level would rise dramatically, and us Richmond locals could potentially have beach front property. It happened around 6 million years ago…

And while the politicians scrambled to cover their ass, what would Barbie do? Throw on a bikini and have a beach party- duh.

The summer beach music is blaring and the sun radiates on the smooth plastic of Barbie and Ken dolls (even though it is the middle of winter). Their friends join the party to swim in the new ocean front that used to be the James River. There is beach volleyball, surfing, and sunbathing (while using SPF-40 of course). Everyone is laughing and smiling as if they are part of a Mentos commercial.

Not to mention, how could Barbie have her dream house without it being on the Oceanfront? Without global warming, her true dream house would just be a nice house. And Barbie would still have to bundle up in the winter, shovel snow off her walkway, and deal with the winter sniffles.

With this said, how is it even arguable that global is a bad thing?


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