2: Barbie Slams the Scarlet Letter!


John Edwards cover your ears… or hop in the Delorean with Christopher Lloyd and hide back in 1985, because Barbie has stormed the front lines with an army of listeners. “There is just too much grey area” Barbie mimics in response to former North Carolina Senator John Edwards recent adulterous accusations.

The problem with adultery is that it is too relative. Not to mention the guy codes…. But if your wife is dying, is it really cheating? Or if you had other people pay for it, did you really do anything wrong?

Barbie shows us the meaning of faithfulness with her ever-lasting loyalty to the well-chiseled Ken Doll. Through separate packaging and opposing household shipments, the pair have remained not only faithful, but are “closer than ever” claim executives at Mattel. Despite the impedance of Doomsday this December, the American-Dream continues to flourish in the love life of the All-American Barbie Doll.


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